Tag Archives: transgender

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People acting entitled to information about your genitals is an ace issue.  People acting entitled to information about your genitals is a trans issue.  People acting entitled to know your sexual habits is an ace issue.  People acting entitled to know your sexual habits is a trans issue.  People fearmongering about getting “tricked” into a relationship with you is an ace issue.  People fearmongering about getting “tricked” into a relationship with you is a trans issue.

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it was strange

Very strange to be talking to a 42-year-old trans man who has lived so much trans community history — who knows Monica Helms, the woman who designed the first trans flag, and who used the very original copy to drape over the coffin of one of his friends, and who has been personally targeted by the KKK for his activism — and to have to explain to him the phenomenon of trans medicalism.

Very strange to be talking to this man who told me that the trans flag and the trans symbol were both originally designed to include nonbinary people, who kept following up what he was saying about trans history by saying “I was there,” who emphasized the initial, intentional value of “unity” in the trans community, and to find myself trying to explain to him why there are people who don’t feel like “transgender” is truly the broadest umbrella term.

Very strange to be talking to this man, who explicitly believes that “queer” is useful and appropriate as a substitute to “the alphabet soup,” who explicitly counts an a-for-asexuality as part of that string of initials, and to try to relay my personal sense that it’s wrong of me to even get my fingerprints on the word “queer.”

He looked at me like that shouldn’t even be in question.

It was strange.


On Cissexism and Sexual Entitlement

I’ve begun to wonder why there isn’t more attention given toward the overlap between trans and ace issues.

Connections with and comparisons to the LGBT community abound, of course, since we consider asexuality a sexual orientation, and there’s plenty of aces who are gay, bi, and trans, besides.  But that’s usually spoken about in terms of “the LGBT community” at its broadest and most general, rather than trans communities in specific.

Which I’ve been thinking about because one of the most common manifestations of cissexism, right, is the assumption that anyone can/should be able to tell someone’s gender by looking at them, plus the invasive fixation on trans people’s genitals — because cis people’s genitals are assumed to be known, right, and trans people are the aberrational mystery, the conundrum that must be resolved, because the configuration of one’s genitals is supposed to be public information, and it’s as if everyone, even strangers, is at all times being assessed as a potential sexual partner, whether they would want to be or not.

And I would think we, as aces, would have more to say about that.