Alternatively titled: “Mommy, where do asexuals come from?”
One of the most bizarre non-ace behaviors I’ve encountered so far is the sexual equivalent of mansplaining, which happens when some pontificating tenderfoot becomes aware of ace people and for some godforsaken reason decides to try and explain to us, unsolicited, the perspective of a non-ace person, as if we haven’t been surrounded by you people from day one.
Not only is the original post rude, presumptuous, and ignorant of context (see: allo Solas fans’ repeated refusals to make sexual content in the Solas tag more avoidable, derailing ace Solas posts with sexual comments, attacking people for ace Solas headcanons, the number of people angry about the mere existence of chastemance options, one of whom I met in person, the general anti-celibacy attitude of the fandom, etc.), BUT IT ALSO just… raises a lot of questions.
Such as: Where do you think ace-spectrum people come from?
Do you think we were transported here from another planet, for instance? Or grew in underground pods and bloomed from the earth once we came of age?
How exactly does it come to pass that aces arrive on the internet 100% unaware of the rest of human culture outside of our recently-formed community and lacking all knowledge of the fact non-aces care about more than sex or that many people see sex as important and beautiful and “a wonderful way to express this spiritual connection that two people share” …?
Do you think ace people have isolated ourselves in self-sufficient communes for the past several centuries and are just now making contact with the outside world?
Do you think you’re the first person to tell us these things?
And, yes, just to get this out of the way: there is nothing wrong with imagining Solas had sex with Lavellan. Duh.
I’m not aware of anyone arguing to the contrary, though, which makes this come across as a case of the Shame Clause.
Fans who interpret the Solas-Lavellan relationship as sexual (or wish it was depicted as more sexual) are not a minority and are not the ones who need protecting.
And you know what? Given this whole situation, chiming in with “remember, sex is important to non-asexuals and there’s nothing wrong with not interpreting Solas as ace!” just comes off as gaslighting.