Tag Archives: special snowflakes

It’s not very effective

Encountering one of those group uniformity preachers is like if someone ran up to you and started spraying a water bottle in your face while yelling, “No!  Bad!  Stop feeling alienated by society!  Stop experiencing feelings of otherness and exclusion, you freak!  That’s bad!  You’re wrong!  It’s wrong to feel wrong and you should feel wrong for it!  The beatings will continue until morale improves!”

Sermon of the Uniformity Preacher

Gather ’round, my brethren, for I have a mission for you all.

As we know, it is very psychologically painful to feel like you fit in.  We all hate recognizing that we have anything in common with other people.  That’s why so many people try to lie about being different (when really they’re just normal) and go about spreading extreme, absurd notions about themselves in order to make themselves feel better, as a balm for the pain.

Misrepresenting oneself in a way that makes one feel special is the key to wrongfully accessing many mental and social benefits, dodging the uncomfortable psychological burden that comes from a sense of group belonging and having shared traits in common with the people around you.  And the popularity of this foul self-delusion is on the rise.

This simply cannot stand.  We must do something about the degenerates who have fallen prey to temptation, who seek isolation and make themselves feel special.  Humans may be naturally asocial, solitary creatures repelled by similarity between themselves and others, but that’s no excuse not to work against our baser instincts.

Resistance is imperative.  Our status as ordinary and normal may be difficult to embrace, but it is the only upstanding, virtuous choice.  As keepers of this neglected philosophy, you and I share the responsibility of making the degenerates admit the truth and guiding them back to the path of austere, no-nonsense conformity and homogeneity — by mocking them on the internet and combating the pleasure of exclusion with the righteous power of shame.

This, I declare, is our noble, selfless mission.  Let no one sway you from it.

more fun graphics for starting fights

special snowflake: someone who thinks they already know everything there is to know, and consequently, that anything they haven't heard of can't be real
Spread this around and make some special snowflakes mad.

The Relationship Between Special Snowflakes and Victim-Blaming

You’ve seen at least one before: the kid who thinks they’re weirder than they really are, or claims that nobody understands them, or who self-consciously begins a question with, “Am I the only one who…” about something so normal that you can only sigh and brace yourself against the second-hand embarrassment.

It can be genuinely annoying.

Knowing I’m not the only one who’s been bothered by this on occasion, I’ve decided to share some thoughts on how people begin to think that way in the first place, as well as some musings on how to shut this sort of thing down.

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“It’s ridiculous” is ridiculous

One of the laziest brands of special snowflake rhetoric is the “it’s ridiculous” refrain, which usually comes up whenever someone is struggling to make a point — typically, they won’t even go into what makes it ridiculous; they’ll just say “it’s ridiculous!”, harp on that for a bit, and rest their case.

This is, itself, ridiculous.  Allow me to explain why.

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I’m tired of all these special snowflakes

Yeah, that’s right: I’m sick, absolutely sick, of all these special snowflakes who think they’re omniscient.  They think they know everything — literally everything, even what’s going on in your head right now, every emotion you feel, every sensation or attraction you experience, everything.  I mean, it’s one thing to consider yourself knowledgeable, but this is taking things way too far.

Special snowflakes have this compulsion where, if you describe your internal experiences, they’ll pounce on you to say you’re lying and just attempting to make yourself seem more unique than you really are, because these special snowflakes are the ones who know what you’re really like, of course.  How do they know?  Well we’re just supposed to take their word for it.  Why wouldn’t you believe them, right?  They can see inside your brain or something, probably.  Mind-readers.  It’s a wonder they haven’t hacked everybody’s accounts by now, since they must know all existing passwords, too.

Nothing in the world exists that they haven’t already heard of before, after all.  They’re too special to need to learn things.  They’re so special, they’ve already collected every datapoint in existence.  Yep.  These kids know everything, and asking questions would be beneath them.  Don’t ask where they got these wild magic powers from — they just know things, and they will be furious if you question that.

There’s nothing too implausible about a bunch of people claiming to have unlimited godlike omniscience out of the blue, right?  That’s not too ridiculous or anything.  Nah.  These firm but benevolent shepherds are the true arbiters of what’s really ridiculous here.

Ugh.  Special snowflakes.

What do we need a word like “semi-arid” for?

There’s no such thing as “semi-arid”.  You’re either arid or you’re not.  You either get less than ten inches of annual rainfall or you don’t.  The definition of semi-arid isn’t even specific — it’s just a gray area between desert climates and humid climates.  With a definition that vague, it can be used to classify any humid climate that’s not an absolute rainforest, so what’s the point?  Semi-arid climates are not desertsStop calling them that. 

This is ridiculous.  Just because you don’t get rain 24/7 doesn’t mean you’re arid.  Climates that classify themselves as semi-arid are just humid climates being misled or trying to be different so they can fit in with the arid ones, even though they don’t belong.  Stop lumping them in together.  Semi-aridness is just a fad, and an annoying one at that.  People need to stop acting like it’s real or else it’s going to make everyone stop taking arid climates seriously.

a photo of dry scrub and spiky plants with a mesa in the distance

Just look at all that temperate forestland trying to be special.

Also, we have definite, rumor-based proof that the word “semi-arid” was made up by [insert name of group associated with low credibility].  Or at least, it probably was, anyway, because I’ve seen them using it and it just seems like something they’d do.

This has been a PSA: “semi-arid” is just a fake classification made up by people who want humid climates to get counted as arid.