Anon wrote in:
Tag Archives: sexual attraction
This post is a response to Dragon’s model for sexual attraction and the ace spectrum, which prompted a lot of scattered thoughts that I’ll be attempting to organize here. Topics include: modeling attraction patterns, attraction vs. arousal, gray-ace vs. asexual, and issues of “frequency.” CW for brief talk of ableism and eugenics.
“What is sexual attraction? What does sexual attraction feel like?” Phrases like these show up often in the list of search terms that lead people to this blog, and while I think my usual readers are well past the question, I want to make a more direct post on the subject for the people who need it. The short answer is “a manner of interpersonal attraction that in sexual in nature”. But if you want the long answer, keep reading.
A companion piece to Differentiating Types of Attraction.
[Note: this post has now been translated into Spanish!]
[Edit 4/22/21: I can’t believe I have to say this, but if you’re here from that “seduction” forum, just get out of here. In this house we support rejection and turning people down.]
Because sexual attraction usually (but not always) comes mixed with other kinds of attraction, prying them apart for categorization can be a tricky process, firstly because some allosexuals resist attraction disambiguation on the basis that it’s “not necessary” — for them, because they experience these attractions simultaneously. However, even a bisexual friend of mine reports having experienced sensual attraction to a man she was not sexually attracted to. We were in the midst of a discussion about attraction types when she came to this realization, with a sudden exclamation of “OH, that’s what it was!”
[This article is now available en français! Thanks, Valentin!]