Tag Archives: school

Asexual academic articles?

This seems like a good place to ask: if someone were writing a rhetorical studies article on (perceptions of) asexuality, do you know of any academic work you would expect to see cited? –or think it’s important to have read? Not necessarily the definitional “what is asexuality, who are asexuals” type of thing, but more in relation to broader culture or other subcultures. I know there are a few pages out there with asexuality bibliographies and such, but I’m not assuming that stuff’s up to date.

earlier today

(another post about school required reading.  Apparently I’m making a new post every time I think of one of these. cw for dubious consent/sexual violence maybe)

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some reminders

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.

Disliking sex doesn’t make you a Big Bad Puritan.  It doesn’t make you much like the Puritans at all, actually.

Liking sex is not a prerequisite for intelligence or maturity.  It does not factor in your worth.

You are not obligated to like or even tolerate “classic literature,” no matter what the people who are supposed to tell you otherwise tell you.  The concept of “literary merit” is itself arbitrary.

You don’t deserve to be exposed to sexual situations without your say-so.

You are loved.  You are loved.  You are loved.


In an unprecedented turn of events, this is actually a happy/good-thing-happened post.

Earlier this week, I sent an email to a teacher I had in high school and have bracing myself for the reply ever since.  Years back, when I had his class, he said some things that kind of freaked me out a little in a way I wasn’t equipped to address back then — because I hadn’t come across words like “sex-normative” or the associated critiques back then.  The class was an English/lit class where we were reading several books in which sex was a plot point and/or relevant to the theme, so it wasn’t weird for us to be talking about sex in class, but… well, you know how these things go.

So, for over a year now, looking back on those memories, I’d considered emailing this teacher to come out to him and point out what he did wrong.  I felt there was a good chance he’d respond well, since I know he liked & respected me as a student and he’s an adamant supporter of gay rights and associated causes (which, as y’all know, isn’t a perfect predictor factor, but it’s something).

Still, I was anxious I’d get one of those “lol being asexual is bad though” replies that are all too familiar to us.  It would have been out of character for him, but I was emotionally bracing myself nonetheless, in case that happened.

But it didn’t.  He emailed me back and thanked me for trusting him, and it was so sweet and wonderful and I’m so relieved, and I thought y’all would find it encouraging to hear about.  It’s not anything I had to do, and it would have been feasible to cut off all contact with him if he had replied negatively, but… I kept thinking about confused little aces going through the same thing I did, being exposed to the same kind of talk.  And it made me want to protect them from that.

And now I get to feel like they’ll be in better hands next time.