Tag Archives: media

a Christmas runaway bride story

For those of you surrounded by people celebrating Christmas this winter, who have estranged relationships to family, and who can relate to feeling trapped in an unhappy romantic relationship… I recommend the short story Bride by Christina Deka.

I judge a lot of things by their first sentence, and the first sentence of this thing is “I am not a bad person,” so, you know, there’s a first sentence for you.

In conclusion, here’s an excerpt to show what made me think of sharing this story with y’all:

I wanted to say, “I do not love you,” but I couldn’t. Gary was a good man, and good men were hard to come by. I knew this. I had been with all the bad ones. So I just smiled and said I was okay.

On abused consent

Hey guess what I’ve been thinking about again also.  Did you guess CSA rhetoric?  Because the answer is CSA rhetoric.

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dangit dangit dangit

Bad things about spending the night of Christmas Eve entirely alone: listening to a dramatic podcast and getting all worked up about your favorite scumbag character almost dying and then turns out he’s aliiiiiive he’s aliiiiiive but then even more bad things happen and there aren’t any episodes after that and you’re left all emotionally hecked up about it with no one around to have a live conversation about it arghhhhh.  Normally I could at least text someone but it’s Christmas Eve!  Christmas freaking Eve!  People are all doing their Christmas Eve things with their Christmas Eve people and don’t have time to be checking their phones and crap.

(he’s alive he’s alive he’s alive but now he’s in deep water and why’d you have to do that man arghhh)

Lapis Lazuli is an abuse victim

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dearlie lyrics

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gem fusion & nonsexual relationships

[cw: implied CSA under one interpretation; Steven Universe spoilers for Season 1 & 2]

Y’all.  C’mon.  Not this fusion = sex thing again.

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Remember when I talked about Fiona, the character brought in as Sherlock’s love interest on Elementary?  Here’s a little more of that.

[tw: sex as a point of contention]

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“I’m not here for you.”

Probably the best meta I’ve seen on Hamilton is this, to which I have nothing of value to add.  But I do want to talk about the relationship between Angelica and Eliza just for a bit.

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The Virgin Queen

[tw: transmisogyny, incest]

But when we’re fictionalizing someone who was famously the “Virgin Queen,” most of that fictionalizing will center around one thing: “Come on.  We know she’s f***ing someone.  Who is she reeeeaaally schtupping?  Because it had to be someone, right?”

I’m not the only one who noticed this, I see.  Glad to hear it acknowledged.  Not glad that this thread carries through more depictions than I was even aware of, though.

forgot to mention

At an ace meetup a couple weeks back, when I brought up the pros and cons of Fiona as autistic representation on Elementary, one thing I failed to mention was that her second episode featured an instance of revoked/suspended consent.

I’m not sure if there’s a better term for that (probably is) but what I’m getting at is the idea of taking a step down on the physical touch escalator — offering consent to something at one point, then refusing it later.

It’s two short snippets of separate scenes, just a small slice of the overall episode, but it was… it was nice.  It was nice to see that depicted and respected.  Served as a reminder as to how infrequently it’s normalized, but still.  It was nice.

Season 4, episode 12.  “A View With a Room.”  At one point, out of the blue, Fiona asks Sherlock, “Would you like to kiss me?”  There’s a pause.  Fiona adds, “Asking ’cause I’d like you to.”  Sherlock continues to hesitate, and it doesn’t happen.  It’s around that point that Fiona leaves.

The two see each other again, later, when he visits her.  Sherlock doesn’t take long to ask, “Does the offer to kiss you still stand?”

And she says, quite bluntly, “No.”


She clarifies, a second later, “I mean it does, just not right now.”


What’s interesting to me about that, besides the fact that it was written at all, is that it’s not presented as bad or rude or stingy or an end to her interest in him — and Sherlock accepts it with a look on his face that’s just like “oh.”  Not super disappointed or angry or indignant or mopey or any of that.  Just sort of… “oh, okay.”  And the conversation proceeds.  And I found it all surprisingly cute, both that part and the part that follows (“I’m a little afraid” “I’m a little afraid, too”).

It’s a small, small thing.  But I’d love to see more of that kind of small thing.

edit: I found clips of the two scenes I was talking about.

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