Tag Archives: “gray-as are just straights” no “just identify according to the genders you experience attraction to in order for us to focus on and categorize you based on that” no

“Experiences attraction infrequently” doesn’t cut it

So here’s another item on the list of bones I have to pick with how people talk about gray-asexuality: when people define it as “experiences sexual attraction infrequently” (or “rarely” or “occasionally”) and leave it at that. [ETA 5/22/19: example].

First of all, that’s not all it means, but more annoyingly, that phrasing leaves the door open for anyone to say, “How does that warrant its own label?  It’s not like people who are bisexual, heterosexual, etc. experience sexual attraction every minute of every day,” because it fosters the impression that the ace community is oversexualizing the experiences of allosexuals thanks to varying impressions of what “infrequently” entails, and, as a result, it tends to create the impression that gray-as are categorically nothing more than mini allosexuals — only with a smaller word bank, so to speak, of people they consider hot.

This post is a response to the problem where, because well-meaning people (even within the ace community) keep recycling a definition that is too narrow to apply to us all, other people are getting the impression that gray-asexuality is just some convoluted way of referring to Allosexuality Lite.

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