Tag Archives: gray-a

Three Narratives of Non-Rosol Identity in the Aro Community

In the aromantic community, not everyone accompanies their romantic orientation label with a sexual orientation label. The same is true in the reverse in the asexual community, as well. People in these communities who feel alienated by the community norm of the Romantic/Sexual Orientation Dyad have what I’ve been referring to as non-rosol identities — and where the topic comes up in aro blogging, I’ve noticed some distinct and specific patterns, some of which have even surprised me.

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Do people not understand that a nighttime sky full of stars doesn’t look the same as a swath of fog at dusk?  Do they not get that “black, but sometimes white” is not the same thing as “gray”?  Can we quit circulating definitions of gray-asexuality that restrict it to a description of “rare” allosexuality?  If you need to summarize for the sake of a chart or a diagram, opt for the broadest definition rather than the narrowest.

personal junk

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Not A Complete Disaster

Personal story time.

The other day, I brought up my orientation to a new person, and it… could have gone worse, though I wasn’t left feeling very good about it.  Continue reading

Gray-Asexuality Revisited

The first post I wrote about gray-asexuality is here.  Might want to read that first.

This post is going going to be a continuation on the same theme.  The topic has already been covered a million times, but I keep coming up with new wordings that I like better, so here we go. Continue reading


When I first learned about asexuality — which is to say really learned about it, as an orientation — my first incorrect misconception was that all aces are aromantic and nonlibidoist.*

*Reality: some are, some aren’t.

Then, as I began exploring AVEN’s wiki, I came across the page for gray-asexuality.  By this point I had already more or less accepted asexuality as legitimate (cultural instruction runs deep; even I was resistant to its validity at first and I’m someone who couldn’t name you anyone I consider hot) but upon seeing their definition of gray-a, I thought by this point, they’re just splitting hairs.  Is a label like this really necessary?

Well, yes and no.

In this post, you’ll get to read about how the label of “gray-a” went from being the label I was most skeptical of to the one that I now identify as. Continue reading