Tag Archives: flying right seat

phone conversation

me: (literally my first words as I answer the phone) Hello, I’m currently arguing with someone on the internet about–

copilot: I KNOW, I’M READING IT RIGHT NOW, I’M SO MAD.


#flying right seat

The copilot has requested a tag.  So now I’ve made one for her.

( It’s a synonym/slang for the position of copilot. )


something nice

I thought y’all might appreciate knowing that the copilot has started using the phrase “passing the ace test” to refer to giving a non-cringeworthy initial response when she informs someone that she has an ace best friend and/or what asexuality is.

The unfortunate thing is that not a lot of people pass the ace test, but the term is cute.


phone conversation

the copilot: (reading from the back of a book her friend gave her) “…Using Liberation Theology and Queer Theory, [this book] exposes the sexual roots that underlie all theology…”

me: (groaning) Why won’t people just leave me alone?


AA: a point of clarification

In response to a message that I was asked not to publish, I’d like to clarify some things about this mess of a post.  My poor phrasing raised some concerns about what I was implying… so allow me to offer this reassurance:

  • I do not believe that criticizing the sex industry amounts to classism.
  • I do believe that large chunks of the sex industry are predatory and exploitative.
  • I believe that part of what allows the sex industry to be so exploitative is the stigma against the women (+ various others) directly involved in it, since that kind of prior work experience can damage their standing with potential employers in other industries.
  • I’m not interested in touting full decriminalization as a simple answer to these issues, since I regard these problems as being irrevocably tied to a capitalist economic structure, something that legal decriminalization will not alter.

And while I’m on the subject… I’ll state that my views on all this are in large part shaped by my relationship with the copilot, who’s been working as a stripper since my sophomore year of college.  I’m not going to try and speak for her views on the issue, but through her I’ve had second-hand exposure to the ways that stigma and legal interference have made her life harder, and the treatment she has to deal with at work that makes me wish she could leave and never look back, and how much she needs that fast money in order to keep up with all her debt (+ obligatory reminder that you can donate to her paypal at jute.angel@gmail.com to help!).

So, no, I don’t think of it as “just a job.”  And I don’t want anyone else to think of it that way, either.


AA: on “ending up alone”

The copilot sent:

Can you please write a post about “ending up alone?” That is all.

Well, I can try.

Continue reading


the copilot has met some weird atheists

Continue reading


There is no control group for the universe.

A couple years or so ago, I attended some kind of presentation on voluntary certification, probably put on by the economics department.

This post is not about economics.

This post is about the product of my irritation with some things that were said on the Q&A session at the end.  Someone had basically asked how we can “prove” that workers’ lives were benefited by companies paying them better wages and being held to more ethical standards.  Efficacy concerns aside, something about the question rubbed me the wrong way, primarily because of the notion that so abstract an impact cannot be deemed legitimate until it is measured in a way that a white-haired stranger in another country can recognize.  In retrospect, I think I better understand where the questioner was coming from, but my annoyance at the time led me to some conclusions that I still agree with.  Soon after the session was over, I trudged back to the co-ed dorm with a low-simmering anger, and since the copilot wasn’t in her room, I wrote a note for the complaint board.

“There is no control group for the universe,” it said, hastily written before being tacked onto the rest.

…which is to say, we cannot always test or prove how things would be different if you adjusted a single variable.  Control groups are wonderful things, and we’re able to learn a great deal through the isolation of variables, but it’s also necessary to confront the fact that such a method is not always practical or even possible.  And sometimes, that’s okay.

So I’m making this post for those who have been assaulted, disabled, sick, abused, or have experienced whatever else has been deemed a confounding variable in determining the “true” cause of the way they are.

There is no control group for the universe.

It might not be possible to isolate all variables enough to know what’s part of the “reason” and what isn’t.  You don’t need to construct an alternate universe version of yourself in order to be worthy of acceptance as the person you are.  You don’t need to pin down every why or how as if your existence is a problem to solve.  You are not a meteorologist tasked with the job of predicting yourself.

How things would be different if things were different is a question that is, most often, impossible to answer, and you are welcome to relieve yourself of that burden.

There is no control group for the universe.


sappy relationship stuff

Continue reading


Coming Out Experiences

I don’t know of how much interest it is to anyone, but this should give my personal posts a little more context, for what it’s worth. Continue reading