(FL update)

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Hey, guess what happened.

Nnnnngh okay, get ready.

[cn: kink, d/s, abuse; this is a post about how some people in the kink community approach the subject of the latter two]

“The sub is the one who’s really in control”

[cw: kink talk, D/s talk, consent talk, rape mention, food mention]

I’ve heard this line multiple times now, so it’s getting its own post here for the next time it comes up again.

this is just to say

I don’t have high hopes for the input of a White dude who practices M/s, wrote a book on it without even acknowledging the certain specters invoked by the word “slavery,” and who freaking calls himself a “shaman,” as if that term isn’t racially-coded as hell.

Nonconsensual submission

When I think about D/s things that creep me out, it’s easy to conjure up scenarios of nonconsensual (and “consensual”) domination — and so it occurred to me to wonder, is the reverse, nonconsensual submission, something conceivable?  Isn’t that… kind of impossible?  Is that a thing?  Does that happen?

And then I realized that it’s kind of, sort of… already happened to me.

if that’s what it is, then what isn’t it

How to even start this…

Well.

It’s disconcerting that when I deliberately tried to write about scenes without D/s, twice now I’ve gotten responses that basically amount to “Actually, that is D/s.”  And by “disconcerting,” I mean it feels like I can’t write anything vaguely kinky without being conscripted.

Challenge to D/s fans

For whatever reason, I haven’t found anything that would answer this question, so I figure I’ll just put it here on my blog.