Tag Archives: doms

Exploitation and Power

Perhaps the most significant mitigating factor of these conditions is Power. Both the power a survivor holds in the community as well as the corresponding power of a perpetrator are key to shaping that community’s response. When a perpetrator holds very little power in comparison to a survivor, or when the perpetrator is not even part of the community, a token show of support costs little and helps maintain the benevolent veneer of Rape Culture. Of course, this is rarely the case. It has commonly been urged that support of a survivor should not be hindered by a perpetrator’s position of power in the community, but the position of power itself receives little scrutiny, as does any possible correlation between that position of power and interpersonal violence (which is itself a brutal expression of power). The failure to establish this link is like asking what came first, the chicken or the egg, and then insisting that the chicken and the egg have nothing to do with each other. This blind spot is especially curious amongst anarchists, who claim to oppose all forms of hierarchical power.

It follows that a genuine analysis of the functioning of Rape Culture must also include an analysis of the relationships of Power that govern our lives. This implicates not only the hierarchies, formal or otherwise, which persist even in anarchist spaces, but also the larger systems of power which inform them, such as Patriarchy, White Supremacy, Colonialism, Ableism and so on. We must acknowledge Rape Culture’s rightful place within Capitalist society. Through this we can recognize Rape Culture as a mechanism for social control, as it reinforces these systems of Power and domination which in turn reproduce it as well. It then becomes necessary to undermine the hierarchical divisions which serve to both facilitate interpersonal violence itself as well as shape the interests of those in a position to respond to it.  Many anarchists rightly reject the navel gazing of identity politics, but a sharp analysis of systems of Power, the ways in which these systems offer privilege to some of us, yet oppression to others, and the ways in which our experiences of these systems of Power influence the ways we fight against them, is crucial to genuine resistance. To successfully attack a Culture of Rape, we must strike at the roots of this Power.

Betrayal: a critical analysis of rape culture in anarchist subcultures (bolding added)


(FL update)

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this is just to say

I don’t have high hopes for the input of a White dude who practices M/s, wrote a book on it without even acknowledging the certain specters invoked by the word “slavery,” and who freaking calls himself a “shaman,” as if that term isn’t racially-coded as hell.


[cw: kink community, violence/violation]

Information on open/public munches (informal meal-centered get-togethers) is… tough to come by if you’re not on Fetlife, but I was able to find a couple of groups in my city on Meetup instead.  I’ve been waffling for a while now on whether to show up to any of them.

Just last night, I sent a text to the copilot, asking about both groups and the names of the organizers, since she was involved in the Scene in this city for a while and I thought there was a chance she might know of them and have the inside scoop.  I figured probably one out of the two might be bad news and one out of the two might be either unknown to her or just fine.

Got back a text saying:

“Both of those leader-people have been accused of consent violations.  I’d steer clear of them.”

o-o

Here’s what makes this even more creepy to me.  When you look on the About Us page of the one that declares that it’s run by an experienced “veteran,” it even has a warning to exercise caution and that “Although they are the exception rather than the rule, predators DO exist in this subculture, and some of them even lead groups like this one.”

See, this is why I have trust issues.


On linguistic prescriptivism, moral standards, and “real doms”

an artsy black-and-white picture of a lightbulb

It’s not a real article on BDSM without an artsy black-and-white photograph.

It’s come up on this blog once already, and I’m sure that won’t be the last I see of it.

When D/s practitioners dare to talk about the subject of abuse in relation to the kink community — which usually turns to pontification on “the difference between BDSM and abuse” — plenty of folks, it seems, reach for appeals to authenticity by making claims about “real doms” or “true doms” and what does or doesn’t apply to them.

“A real dom takes responsibility for their actions.”  “A true dom is not abusive.”  “An actual dom cares about the safety of their sub.”  A dom is only a dom when they don’t make me look bad.

Presumably, the goal of pieces like this is to erect ethical standards for people who take the role of dominant and/or to “defend” so-called “real doms” from being grouped in with abusive “fake doms” and “pretenders,” but going about it this way is completely backwards.

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