You know how some people hate Valentine’s Day? Yeah. That’s me and Christmas.
A submission to the December 2021 Carnival of Aces.
[Crossposted to Pillowfort. Preview image from Spring Creek, Yellowstone National Park, Public Domain.]
Continue readingHm, okay. Here’s a thought I’ve been having. Even though it’s January now, a lot of people still have Christmas decorations up, right, and the other day while driving through an unfamiliar part of town I passed a church(?) with a big ol’ “Keep Christ in Christmas” banner, and that reminded me of my whole… perspective, on… that.
For those of you surrounded by people celebrating Christmas this winter, who have estranged relationships to family, and who can relate to feeling trapped in an unhappy romantic relationship… I recommend the short story Bride by Christina Deka.
I judge a lot of things by their first sentence, and the first sentence of this thing is “I am not a bad person,” so, you know, there’s a first sentence for you.
In conclusion, here’s an excerpt to show what made me think of sharing this story with y’all:
I wanted to say, “I do not love you,” but I couldn’t. Gary was a good man, and good men were hard to come by. I knew this. I had been with all the bad ones. So I just smiled and said I was okay.
Bad things about spending the night of Christmas Eve entirely alone: listening to a dramatic podcast and getting all worked up about your favorite scumbag character almost dying and then turns out he’s aliiiiiive he’s aliiiiiive but then even more bad things happen and there aren’t any episodes after that and you’re left all emotionally hecked up about it with no one around to have a live conversation about it arghhhhh. Normally I could at least text someone but it’s Christmas Eve! Christmas freaking Eve! People are all doing their Christmas Eve things with their Christmas Eve people and don’t have time to be checking their phones and crap.
(he’s alive he’s alive he’s alive but now he’s in deep water and why’d you have to do that man arghhh)
trying not to burn yourself with a candle that has one of those cheap paper wax guards because the church you’re at didn’t get the good plastic ones
Here’s to the Christians who don’t celebrate Christmas.
Here’s to those who aren’t spending this time of year with their families. To those who had no choice, and to those who did choose. To those who are having to accept that other circumstances got in the way, and to those whose families are the circumstances that got in the way.
Here’s to those who will be forced to interact with abusive family members in the name of sacred family time. To those who have no choice, and to those who fear the repercussions.
Here’s to those who don’t feel the way they’re supposed to feel about Christmas.
Here’s to those who are just waiting for it to be over.
Here’s to you.
I don’t get why Christmas is seen as romantic. 
Alright, allow me to clarify: I do get why Christmas is seen as “romantic” in the classical sense of “an idealized version of reality,” what with the sparkling trees and the spirit of generosity and chestnuts roasting on an open fire and all that. I even associate the idea of Christmas with the idea of snow, even though I’ve never experienced snow during Christmastime once in my life (I live in Texas, so this is to be expected).
What I don’t get is why Christmas is seen as romantic, in the sense of kisses and dates and amatonormativity. And by “seen as”, I’m referring to everything from the romantic-sexual Christmas songs on the radio (from the uncomfortable “Santa, Baby” to the even more uncomfortable “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”) to all the Christmas romcoms that exist for some unholy reason.
Admittedly, the mistletoe thing may have a big part in it. But according to my cursory research, the symbolism of mistletoe used to be more broad as well.
The Christmas holiday is not all that ideologically important to me, I should note, so this isn’t much of a bother besides the heterosexuals throwing their stuff in my face yet again. I just find it kind of mystifying.
Why not Easter, for example? I hardly ever hear of people romanticizing/sexualizing Easter, even though it’s traditions are ripe with potential. It has pagan origins as a fertility festival, for Pete’s sake. Rabbits and flowers and eggs as its symbols? What do you think all that is about?
Easter hasn’t made as much of an imprint on the American imagination, however. Granted, out of the two, Christmas is the holiday that’s easier to monetize (“celebrating the giving of gifts” vs. “celebrating new life”). But does it necessarily follow that what’s easier to market becomes that which is given more cultural precedence becomes that which becomes more romanticized and sexualized?
You might also argue that it’s because Christmas is in the winter (in this hemisphere), and cold weather inspires people to huddle together and share warmth. In the context of a culture in which personal touch is heavily coded as sexual and/or romantic, the entire idea of winter itself could be romanti-sexualized. But we equally sexualize the summer when it’s expected for people to show more skin and wear less clothing, for similar reasons. So why isn’t the Fourth of July, a summer holiday in America that encourages spending, given a similar treatment?
The romantic discourse swirling around Christmas may be intuitive on some levels, but it remains strange to me, not only because its current rendition is so far removed from the shabby Mediterranean birthday story it’s supposedly based on, but because I and so many others associate Christmastime with family time, for better or for worse. That doesn’t mesh naturally with dating and romance, from my point of view.
You could say I’m overthinking it, but it remains pretty dang weird.
The Ace Theist 