Tag Archives: christian

Academics sure are bad at talking about abstinence, huh

lol nothing like a little academic reading on “purity culture” to reopen some old baggage

[cn: conservative Christian talk, anti-ace stuff, discussion of rape (fictional and political)]

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Belated Christmas-rhetoric post: Keep [?] in Christmas

Hm, okay. Here’s a thought I’ve been having. Even though it’s January now, a lot of people still have Christmas decorations up, right, and the other day while driving through an unfamiliar part of town I passed a church(?) with a big ol’ “Keep Christ in Christmas” banner, and that reminded me of my whole… perspective, on… that.

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Takeaways from conservative Christian sex manuals

[cw: sex-normativity, misogyny, rape culture]

It is through sexual union that people feel closest to Christ. Not only does God reveal himself in sexual love, but, as one book poetically argues, the only way mortals can find Christ is in the marital act, which is the holiest of acts. In this sense, the marital union is seen as a profound prayer, as “no human activity gives more glory to man’s creator than the act by which man is permitted to share in creation.” […]

Husbands and wives are obligated to honor each other’s sexual needs for “it is God’s will that married people enjoy sexual relations.” Abstinence from sex is allowed only under specific conditions, by mutual agreement, and temporarily. […]

The two principal types of sexual maladjustment cited in the manuals are frigidity on the part of the wife and premature ejaculation on the part of the husband. According to one book, “sexual frigidity is without doubt the greatest sexual problem threatening contemporary marriages. It is not an exaggeration to say that the majority of modern wives are, in some degree, frigid!” These authors are pessimistic regarding the transformation of cold into passionate wives. “There are frigid women, many of them, and the most skilled lovers would be powerless to ‘cure’ them.”

Lionel S. Lewis and Dennis D. Brissett, “Sex as God’s Work”

Nothing to say here that I haven’t said already.

Thanks again to Kristiny for the link.

Lent has begun

and you know what that means.

Getting ready for Easter Sunday.

so I was looking for xmas movies on netflix

as you do, right, and…


Hold on, what?

Christian Mingle: THE MOVIE?


Man.  Check out that solid one-star rating, my friends.

during a convo about churches

the engineer friend: Because it’s really hard to find a LGBT-affirming church that isn’t…

me: Unitarian Universalist?

the engineer friend: Basically, yes.

Aces in the Church

aces in the church cover

Too often, non-aces will speculate about what it’s like to be ace under the gaze of one of the most politically powerful religious groups to date, making assumptions about what we do or don’t face, without asking those of us who have the relevant experience.  This zine, “Aces in the Church,” was created to be a compilation of ace experiences with & within Christianity, to bring our stories together into one place and close the door on any need for speculation.

Big thanks to everyone who contributed.  “Aces in the Church,” a small digital zine edited by yours truly, is now available to read.  Links for view/download: wordpress, sendspace, google drive


Three hundred years after Jesus died on a Roman cross, the emperor Theodosius made Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire.  Christians, who had once been persecuted by the empire, became the empire, and those who had once denied the sword took up the sword against their neighbors.

–Rachel Held Evans, Searching for Sunday, p. 74

You know… I’m surprised Christianity isn’t a more frequently-cited example of what can happen because of cultural appropriation.


[cw: Christianity, alcohol]

While our various ceremonial remembrances of the meal may be meaningful in their own right, it’s a shame they aren’t accompanied more often by actual feasts, complete with bread baskets and wine bottles, elbows and spills, cleanup and candle-light, and big fat serving bowls of mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and fresh green beans.  For many, such feasts are a stable of their informal church life — those planned or improptu gatherings around Chinese takeout or a backyard grill when the people of God just hang out together — but the dichotomy between the sacred and the secular is a Western construction and one I suspect those first disciples of Jesus would find a bit curious given what we know about those first Sunday meals.

–Rachel Held Evans, Searching for Sunday, p.129-130

I don’t know if that dichotomy is actually a Western construction (seems so), but, this hits on one of my pet topics.

Because on the one hand… on the one hand, liturgy is very… pretty.  It can create a very gripping, somatic experience.  I think of church bells, solemn and clamorous, and of the resonant “bowl” I would ring as an acolyte during Eucharist while all else was silent, paying rapt attention to the timing and how to strike, to be loud enough, without being too loud, and pace the blows, letting some ripples of vibration fade before striking anew — and how the sound would fill the space of the sanctuary and it was beautiful.  I loved that part of the service, even though I was anxious about it because there were no diversions to cover my mistakes.

But also?  Usually?  The liturgy can be cold and distancing, and so… lifeless.  It’s a facade,  and it’s stiff, and it’s the same every time, and that makes it tedious.  It can be good for invoking muscle memory and nostalgia and sometimes (sometimes) quiet reverence, but for me, usually, it just feels empty.

And I remember being frustrated even as a, what? a preteen? a young teen? …about this, even then, even though I had a very underdeveloped sense of what was bothering me.  I was noticing that people mostly didn’t want to talk Godtalk without being formal and vaguely scripted about it, like it was this far-removed thing to be held at arm’s length, quarantined to designated hours and structured participation, not a natural part of their actual everyday lives.  I kept feeling this uncomfortable divide between how people handled themselves during Church Stuff and how they handled themselves when talking about literally anything else.  In trying to express my interest in suturing those two worlds together and maybe even collapsing some of the divide, trying to talk to some adults about it, I… didn’t express myself well.

And eventually, I gave up.


The words of the worship songs in chapel tasted like ash in my mouth.

–Rachel Held Evans, Searching for Sunday, p. 51