Every once in a while, the copilot sends me an article on M/S to see what I think, and pretty much every time, I can’t get through it. Since she’s requested my thoughts, here’s a catalog of recurring problems and unanswered questions, for future reference.
Tag Archives: BDSM
On violence
People use the word “violence” in a myriad of confusing and contradictory ways when they talk about kink, so I figure I might as well get this out of the way. But for anyone with any kind of interest in ethics, especially any kind of interest in how to class anti-asexuality, this discussion might still be relevant.
“The sub is the one who’s really in control”
[cw: kink talk, D/s talk, consent talk, rape mention, food mention]
I’ve heard this line multiple times now, so it’s getting its own post here for the next time it comes up again.
this is just to say
I don’t have high hopes for the input of a White dude who practices M/s, wrote a book on it without even acknowledging the certain specters invoked by the word “slavery,” and who freaking calls himself a “shaman,” as if that term isn’t racially-coded as hell.
if that’s what it is, then what isn’t it
How to even start this…
Well.
It’s disconcerting that when I deliberately tried to write about scenes without D/s, twice now I’ve gotten responses that basically amount to “Actually, that is D/s.” And by “disconcerting,” I mean it feels like I can’t write anything vaguely kinky without being conscripted.