A compilation of links to ace readings, analysis, and discussion of fiction and fan communities, including essays about interpreting individual characters as ace, evaluating canon portrayals of asexuality, and identifying ace-related themes. If you have suggestions on what to add, please link them in the comments!Continue reading
Tag Archives: asexual umbrella
I’ve had to summarize this situation for other people a few different times now, so I decided I might as well put together a post on the subject for future reference. Basically, this is a post about that whole “oriented” business and everything that’s wrong with it.
[Crossposted to Pillowfort.]Continue reading
Gray is a purposeful metaphor. An expression of imprecision, blending, and betweens.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about gray-asexuality again. It’s been a few years since I published “Experiences attraction infrequently” doesn’t cut it, and while I know that post is still useful to people, it’s also been long enough at this point that I’m embarrassed of my own writing. So this is a
short reflection piece on why I still identify as gray-a, going on about six years now.
[This post has been crossposted to Pillowfort; cw: sexual violence mention.]Continue reading
A compilation of links to the arguments made on gray-asexuality and demisexuality in the Tumblr segment of the ace community, back when they were a big point of contention around the year 2013. This doesn’t aim to include everything, but it is 1) what I was able to recover, and 2) what I consider representative. Disproportionately many of the original aggressors have since changed their URLs or deleted their posts, but I believe I’ve provided enough context here to read between the lines, even if you weren’t there for it all.
A note about the imprecision of the title: Technically, I’m going to include a few links from 2012, as prelude, but the bulk here will be from 2013. Also, you may spot a couple of links to WordPress and AVEN in the mix as well. These are to allow further context and examples of where the conversation had spillover, but this particular post is going to focus mostly on Tumblr.
A note on why I’m writing this: While it might be just as well for this mess to go forgotten, witnessing it unfold was something seriously impactful on me at the time, as someone just starting to read ace blogs and (at the time) newly questioning whether or not to describe myself as gray-asexual. I had no prior contact with the community outside of this, of course. For me, this was one of my very first introductions to the community — a debate over whether or not a given group of people, a group that I kinda sorta maybe was realizing I might be a part of, belonged in the community. You better believe I watched it closely — and slowly formed an impression of who had the best case.
It would have been helpful to have this compilation back when I was trying to explain gray context in 2015, but oh well. More recently, however, there have also been some newer conversations I’ve wanted to reference it in, such as contrasting some gatekeeping in the ace and aro communities, so a post on this may still be useful yet.
[Note: this post has been crossposted to Pillowfort.]Continue reading
A playlist for dealing with the anti-ace brigade. Just a themeless, totally not-ace-related sampling of perspectives on ongoing internet conflicts, from “this is why we lie awake” to “I don’t want to hear about the bad blood anymore.”
This Is Why We Fight – The Decemberists / You’re So Vain – Carly Simon / Don’t You Ever Get Tired – Bettye Swan / Dirty Laundry – Don Henley / Hate On Me – Jill Scott / Mean People Suck – NOFX / Civil War – Guns N’ Roses / Gives You Hell – The All American Rejects / Shut It Tight – T Bone Burnett / 3 Minutes – Mashrou’ Leila* / Numb – Marina & The Diamonds / Bad Blood – Bastille
*I could hide in your skin. I could wear all your faces… I could be you if you want me to. I could sing all your words. I could act out your life, when you hear me in your mirror. Tell me please who to be.
Aces in the Church: a zine from under the asexual umbrella about experiences with(in) modern Christianity
CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
Too often, non-aces will speculate about what it’s like to be ace under the gaze of one of the most politically powerful religious groups to date, making assumptions about what we do or don’t face, without asking those of us who have the relevant experience. This zine, “Aces in the Church,” is intended to be a compilation of ace experiences with & within Christianity, to bring our stories together into one place and close the door on any need for speculation.
Who can submit content?
Anyone who fits both criteria:
- past or present identification with asexuality, gray-asexuality, or some other identity under the asexual umbrella (questioning people welcome)
- past or present participation in/involvement with/exposure to a Christian church or community (or Christian and Christian-leaning individuals)
If you’re interested but you’re on the fence about whether you or your experiences count, you are invited to submit something anyway.
What content can you submit?
Any personal reflections, mini essays, vignettes, stories, short comics, or other works dealing with being ace while engaging with Christians and/or in relation to Christianity. For example, you might submit something about:
- messages from within the Church about marriage and sexuality & how they’ve impacted you
- abstinence-only sex education as experienced by an ace
- how a Christian upbringing has affected the way you or others feel about the legitimacy of your ace identity
- a time when you disclosed an ace identity, lack of interest in sex, etc., to a Christian
- consequences to not believing in Christianity and consequences to not expressing sexual desire
- parental expectations with regard to sex and God
- dating (or not) as a Christian and an ace
- interplay between religious and sexual trauma
- things you would tell your younger, more devout (or less devout) self about attraction, dogma, and community
- positive experiences of explicit ace acceptance in a Christian context
There is no minimum length requirement. A couple of sentences is fine. A short note saying that the subject is too difficult for you to talk about can count as a contribution.
All submissions will be subject to the editor’s approval prior to publication. Pieces with objectionable content, such as antigay sentiment, will not be tolerated. You can opt to supply a contact method if you would like to resolve any issues that may arise.
The editor will add content warnings at its own discretion, and you are welcome to specify some yourself. There is only one mandatory rule about this: please place a note at the top if your submission includes sexual content.
How can I submit something?
You have two options! Either drop the full text into Coyote’s askbox, or email the file/document to firstname.lastname@example.org, with the subject line “zine submission.” These methods can also be used to send questions about the zine, but in that case, make sure to include a contact method for the reply, unless you’re a regular reader of The Ace Theist.
Please specify what name (if any) you would like the piece to be attributed to for the byline. In other words, please say who your submission is from. Your submission can be from “Anonymous.” If you choose not to remain anonymous, you may use an alias or a url, or both.
When is the deadline?
The current deadline is August 15, but that’s subject to change depending on the response rate. Feel free to drop Coyote a note to request more time.
[note for people who don’t read the tags: full text copying of this post is permitted & encouraged so this will spread]
Although I’m not inclined to think of asexuality as a disability, I couldn’t help thinking of the “broken” feeling when I read this passage from this post:
But I think [the main thing to get away from] is [the idea that (“I am impaired” and even “there is something wrong with me”) are equal to (“I am lesser than someone who is not impaired, all other things being equal.”)]
(symbols added by me because the original was difficult for me to parse at first)
…which made me think of asexuality and the “broken” accusation/internalization because it folds into one both 1) a sense of technical impairment/absence of function/not-doing-the-thing-it’s-expected-to-do with 2) a sense of not-doing-the-thing-it-should-do/condemnation/devaluation. The latter of the two is why the community rejects the language of brokenness to describe us.
But for my own self, I think it’s possible for me to think of my internal “sexuality space” (and whatever nuerological mechanisms that control it) as being at least partly “nonfunctional,” and for me to conceptualize that as aberration without negative value judgement. As if, when I was dealt my sexuality, so to speak, I was dealt a blank card. Or the torn corner of a card. And that’s that.
I don’t know if it’s possible for me to reclaim “broken.” That may be too far. But there is another word that conveys biological aberration that, to biologists and X-Men fans, doesn’t carry strictly negative connotations.
And you know what? I may not want to be called broken, but I think I can be okay with being a mutant.