About nine years ago, I wrote and published a blogpost with title “Why I Wear an Ace Ring.” At the time, I don’t think I could have ever anticipated the reception that post would get, and is still getting, almost a decade later.
Crossposted to Pillowfort.
Continue readingI’ve had to summarize this situation for other people a few different times now, so I decided I might as well put together a post on the subject for future reference. Basically, this is a post about that whole “oriented” business and everything that’s wrong with it.
[Crossposted to Pillowfort.]
Continue readingGray is a purposeful metaphor. An expression of imprecision, blending, and betweens.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about gray-asexuality again. It’s been a few years since I published “Experiences attraction infrequently” doesn’t cut it, and while I know that post is still useful to people, it’s also been long enough at this point that I’m embarrassed of my own writing. So this is a short reflection piece on why I still identify as gray-a, going on about six years now.
[This post has been crossposted to Pillowfort; cw: sexual violence mention.]
Continue readingA compilation of links to the arguments made on gray-asexuality and demisexuality in the Tumblr segment of the ace community, back when they were a big point of contention around the year 2013. This doesn’t aim to include everything, but it is 1) what I was able to recover, and 2) what I consider representative. Disproportionately many of the original aggressors have since changed their URLs or deleted their posts, but I believe I’ve provided enough context here to read between the lines, even if you weren’t there for it all.
A note about the imprecision of the title: Technically, I’m going to include a few links from 2012, as prelude, but the bulk here will be from 2013. Also, you may spot a couple of links to WordPress and AVEN in the mix as well. These are to allow further context and examples of where the conversation had spillover, but this particular post is going to focus mostly on Tumblr.
A note on why I’m writing this: While it might be just as well for this mess to go forgotten, witnessing it unfold was something seriously impactful on me at the time, as someone just starting to read ace blogs and (at the time) newly questioning whether or not to describe myself as gray-asexual. I had no prior contact with the community outside of this, of course. For me, this was one of my very first introductions to the community — a debate over whether or not a given group of people, a group that I kinda sorta maybe was realizing I might be a part of, belonged in the community. You better believe I watched it closely — and slowly formed an impression of who had the best case.
It would have been helpful to have this compilation back when I was trying to explain gray context in 2015, but oh well. More recently, however, there have also been some newer conversations I’ve wanted to reference it in, such as contrasting some gatekeeping in the ace and aro communities, so a post on this may still be useful yet.
[Note: this post has been crossposted to Pillowfort.]
Continue reading[link]
A playlist for dealing with the anti-ace brigade. Just a themeless, totally not-ace-related sampling of perspectives on ongoing internet conflicts, from “this is why we lie awake” to “I don’t want to hear about the bad blood anymore.”
This Is Why We Fight – The Decemberists / You’re So Vain – Carly Simon / Don’t You Ever Get Tired – Bettye Swan / Dirty Laundry – Don Henley / Hate On Me – Jill Scott / Mean People Suck – NOFX / Civil War – Guns N’ Roses / Gives You Hell – The All American Rejects / Shut It Tight – T Bone Burnett / 3 Minutes – Mashrou’ Leila* / Numb – Marina & The Diamonds / Bad Blood – Bastille
*I could hide in your skin. I could wear all your faces… I could be you if you want me to. I could sing all your words. I could act out your life, when you hear me in your mirror. Tell me please who to be.
Too often, non-aces will speculate about what it’s like to be ace under the gaze of one of the most politically powerful religious groups to date, making assumptions about what we do or don’t face, without asking those of us who have the relevant experience. This zine, “Aces in the Church,” is intended to be a compilation of ace experiences with & within Christianity, to bring our stories together into one place and close the door on any need for speculation.
Who can submit content?
Anyone who fits both criteria:
If you’re interested but you’re on the fence about whether you or your experiences count, you are invited to submit something anyway.
What content can you submit?
Any personal reflections, mini essays, vignettes, stories, short comics, or other works dealing with being ace while engaging with Christians and/or in relation to Christianity. For example, you might submit something about:
There is no minimum length requirement. A couple of sentences is fine. A short note saying that the subject is too difficult for you to talk about can count as a contribution.
All submissions will be subject to the editor’s approval prior to publication. Pieces with objectionable content, such as antigay sentiment, will not be tolerated. You can opt to supply a contact method if you would like to resolve any issues that may arise.
The editor will add content warnings at its own discretion, and you are welcome to specify some yourself. There is only one mandatory rule about this: please place a note at the top if your submission includes sexual content.
How can I submit something?
You have two options! Either drop the full text into Coyote’s askbox, or email the file/document to theacetheist@gmail.com, with the subject line “zine submission.” These methods can also be used to send questions about the zine, but in that case, make sure to include a contact method for the reply, unless you’re a regular reader of The Ace Theist.
Please specify what name (if any) you would like the piece to be attributed to for the byline. In other words, please say who your submission is from. Your submission can be from “Anonymous.” If you choose not to remain anonymous, you may use an alias or a url, or both.
When is the deadline?
The current deadline is August 15, but that’s subject to change depending on the response rate. Feel free to drop Coyote a note to request more time.
[note for people who don’t read the tags: full text copying of this post is permitted & encouraged so this will spread]
The Ace Theist 
Ace Media Analysis & Meta-commentary
A compilation of links to ace readings, analysis, and discussion of fiction and fan communities, including essays about interpreting individual characters as ace, evaluating canon portrayals of asexuality, and identifying ace-related themes. If you have suggestions on what to add, please link them in the comments!
[Crossposted to Pillowfort. Rebloggable on Tumblr. Preview image created from a photo by Teslariu Mihai.]
Continue reading29 Comments | tags: asexual, asexual umbrella, asexuality, asexuality in fiction, fandom, media analysis, media criticism, metacommentary | posted in Asexuality Talk