Tag Archives: aromantic

On saying “before there was a separate aro community”

Sometimes, in situations concerning QPR misinformation, I’ve noticed people will talk about that term as having been created “before there was a separate aro community.” Positioning it that way interests me because, well… how do we draw that line, exactly? I don’t have a concrete answer, but long story short, it’s gotten me thinking about how the aro community talks about itself and its history.

[Crossposted to Pillowfort. Preview image created using Arrow Tips by Don and Janet, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.]

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I want to believe you

You want to have a conversation about the valorization of “love”? Great — I hope you mean it.

[Crossposted to Pillowfort. Preview image by Tristan Chambers, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.]

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What would it look like for there to be an anti-ace problem in the aro community?

You may have heard about the anti-allosexual problem in the aro community, so as something of a thought exercise, if there were anti-ace problem, too, how would that manifest? How would it be identified? What kind of form would it take?

Hypothetically. And in case it needs to be said: I do mean these questions seriously.

What would it look like for there to be an anti-ace problem in the aro community? Would it be considered bad form to even ask?

[Note: This post has been crossposted to Pillowfort. Preview image credit to Wee Sen Goh, CC BY NC.]

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QPR Misinformation Is Not an Appropriate Vehicle for Aro Community Building

A post about the history of QPRs, why people are arguing about it, and how I learned that’s not what they’re actually arguing about at all.

In this post, I’m going to be tackling this topic in three parts:

1) What are people saying? 2) How is that misinformation? 3) How is that a proxy?

[This post has been crossposted to Pillowfort and linked to on Arocalypse. Preview image by Soheil Koushan, licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.]

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Tiny linkspam on Tri-Label Aro Aces

In the spirit of Queenie’s teeny tiny linkspams, such as the one on greyness, here are a few links about or related to the experiences of tri-orientation aro aces — those identifying as gay/lesbian/bi/het (or some other orientation) while also identifying with both the ace & aro umbrellas.

Some of these links are about identifying with an orientation label in a way that’s not (or not entirely) about romance or sexuality. Some of these links are about nonromantic or ambiguously-romantic partnership. Some of these links are direct personal narratives about tri-label identities, such as gay aro ace or bi aro ace. So as you can see, some of the connections are more direct than others, but hopefully you can find something you’re looking for.

[Crossposted to Pillowfort.]

Bi Aces, Not Biromantic

Being Bi/Ace, Part One: Scrutiny About Attraction and the Kinsey Scale & Part Two: Aesthetic Attraction and the Visual-Aural Gender Split by Elizabeth

Opting Out Of Romantic Orientations by Vesper (note: see also some of my posts on romantic orientation)

Tri-Label Aro Aces

Bisensuality (or That Little Nuance I like to Ignore) by Lib

Squishes and unlearning heteronormativity & A Contrarian View on Platonic Attraction by Laura

Gay/Lesbian/Bi Aro Aces, a comment thread with multiple contributors

A post on being a gay aro ace by Sammy

A post on being a bi aro ace by Astral

Oriented Gray by Coyote

Oriented Aroaceness: An Essay by Lynn

Oriented AroAce Problems (a comic) by Xweetara

Even more posts and threads about gay/lesbian aro aces: “aroace lesbians can be…” (reblog chain) and is it possible to be asexual, aromantic, and gay? (forum thread).

Relationships & Partnerships

Updating the Map by Elizabeth

“I can’t want people like me in fiction” & “Captain Marvel doesn’t have a romantic subplot” by Aceadmiral

A Genealogy of Queerplatonic & Queerplatonic-Adjacent Concepts by Coyote

Yearning For “Queerplatonic” To Be Recognized As Not Romantic by luvtheheaven

Teeny tiny linkspam on asexuality and relationships by Queenie


AA: “Just Mad ‘Cause You’re Single”

[major spoilers for Steven Universe ahead!]

Anonymous wrote in:

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Puzzling Over Crushes

When I first came to terms with the fact that I’m on the asexual spectrum, my automatic assumption was that I was heteroromantic (thanks, heteronormativity). Recently, I’ve been exploring the possibility that I might be aromantic, which would make things complicated because I’m not nonamorous.  Now I’ve been second-guessing myself wondering if I might be more heteroromantic than I want to admit.

I’ll see if I can explain.

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Sing it with me

What shall we do with the drunken aro?

What shall we do with the drunken aro?

What shall we do with the drunken aro?

Early in the more-arguing-there’s-no-liminal-space-between-queer-orientations-and-straight-orientations.


Romantic Orientation Revisited

The first post I wrote about my romantic orientation is here, and be warned, it’s rambley and inconclusive.

Technically, the definition of aromantic is one who does not experience romantic attraction.  I guess I meet the criteria.

However, since a lot of ace explanations and coming out is followed up with butasexualscanstillgetcrushes, it’d feel misleading not to bring up the fact that sexual orientation is not romantic orientation, but it’d also be trickier to explain that distinction without myself as an example… and if I were to identify as aro, that would complicate my ability to express my stance on (the possibility of being involved in) romantic relationships. Continue reading