Tag Archives: ace advice tag

Tumblr Ask-Advice Blogging: What’s Holding It Back & How Link Culture Could Help

As many of you know, around the Tumblr “ask” messaging system has grown a culture of dedicated ask-advice blogs, typically inviting questions on specific identities and experiences, such as asexuality. Ideally, these blogs should be helpful places for soliciting advice and making contact with new communities. Unfortunately, however, these blogs face certain inherent problems that severely limit how useful they can be.

The biggest limitations lie in three structural elements of the format: 1) the single respondent, 2) the delayed posting of the initial message, and 3) the notifications all going to the person who answers, not the person who asks. In addition, there are also some psychological issues to account for. Popular advice bloggers, facing a deluge of advice-seekers, are especially prone to writing answers that are both 4) overconfident and 5) rushed, resulting in especially shallow, misleading, or even harmful advice. Aside from changing Tumblr’s features directly, one way to mitigate these issues would be by cultivating more of a culture of links.

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[cw: sexual coercion]

Okay I know this was several days ago which is like years in internet time, but I keep going back to this post where anon approaches redbeardace about their boyfriend, and. I. *abstract hand motions*

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aces against healthism

[cw: medical talk, genitals talk]

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[link to post]

Substantive discussions, huh?

Yeah, those would be nice to have.  For example, how about a substantive discussion about your habitual practice of giving bad advice to vulnerable people?

Like making authoritative claims about what medical decisions everyone with a cervix should make?  Regardless of financial status, sexual and medical trauma, sex repulsion, body dysphoria, the list goes on…

Or like recommending kink-curious aces join Fetlife?  Without mentioning — at all — the site security issues, the official policy of protecting abusers from being named, or any kind of warning for anyone who might want to prepare for constant risk of porn across the whole site

Or maybe your dubious understanding of the human learning process?

I for one would love to have some substantive discussions!

Haven’t heard from Arf or Smrf still on the pap test discussion, and while checking kinkyasexuals for a response, I found some more posts on kink, self-harm, and survivorhood.  Just got back from a queer munch today, too, so I’m in the mindset for talking about this sort of thing.

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Pap Test CBA

[cw: medical talk, genitals talk, etc.]

Found some ace blogs recommending all folks w/ cervices get pap tests.


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Basic Resources for Ace Advice Blogs

If I had my way (and 1000x more brainpower), I’d have helped put together a log far more extensive than this, but for now… recent events have pushed my “something’s better than nothing” sentiment to outpace my perfectionism.  So here’s a very minimal sampling thrown together to meet that “better than nothing” threshold: links, resources, and recommended reading for anyone heading an asexuality-themed blog.

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*finds this “sex favorable aces” tumblr*

*decides to drop this in their submit box*

They don’t have a submit box.

Now, this might be going too far, I suppose, but it occurs to me that if someone’s asking for sources to prove that asexuality isn’t “just something tumblr made up,” mm, you might want to provide links that aren’t… several tumblr posts, and then one non-tumblr article that’s primarily about gayness.

Granted, yes, some of those tumblr posts do link non-tumblr sources, which you’ll see if you go as far as looking at them.

But considering the kind of people you might be dealing with, if “just something tumblr made up” is the question on the table…

You might want to take some preemptive measures.

By the way, this and this and this exist.

AA: love and desireability talk

[cw: sex as a point of contention in romantic relationships]

Anonymous wrote in:

Have you seen this post? “Some people desire sex and feel like they need to have sex with their partner in order to have a fulfilling & happy relationship with them, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.” http://theasexualityblog.tumblr.com/post/142562968716/joshnewberry-peak-bad-discourse-is-its

It reminded me of your post “equating sex with love is rape culture” and I was curious as to your thoughts.

(link to “equating sex with love is rape culture”)

No, I hadn’t seen it.

This question strikes me as the kind of message sent by someone who takes issue with joshnewberry’s post but wants someone else to address it for them.  Honestly I can’t say I have a problem with that tactic.

You might not get what you hoped for, though.

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