a Christmas runaway bride story

For those of you surrounded by people celebrating Christmas this winter, who have estranged relationships to family, and who can relate to feeling trapped in an unhappy romantic relationship… I recommend the short story Bride by Christina Deka.

I judge a lot of things by their first sentence, and the first sentence of this thing is “I am not a bad person,” so, you know, there’s a first sentence for you.

In conclusion, here’s an excerpt to show what made me think of sharing this story with y’all:

I wanted to say, “I do not love you,” but I couldn’t. Gary was a good man, and good men were hard to come by. I knew this. I had been with all the bad ones. So I just smiled and said I was okay.


It’s the end of the semester, which means it’s time for multiple rounds of that classic conversation: “Are you going back to Texas for the break?” “No.” “You’re not going home?” “No, I live here now.” “But… what about family?” “What family?”


Uh so I would like to write posts after finals are over but first I would like for my chosen career path not to be destroyed by congress and the plan for taxing nonexistent money.

the unfannish ace writer problem

I have a problem similar to something similar to the problem Siggy has described having, which is that I don’t like a lot of things other people like.

Well, no, that’s not the best way to put it actually. The problem on my mind at the moment is more like… even when I do like something a lot of other people like, I can’t/don’t write the characters from it into my own fiction prose.

This doesn’t have to be a problem, except that when people are talking about a dearth of good asexual umbrella fanfiction, I get motivated to contribute, and then I remember my own hangups about writing fanfiction.

Right now I’m reminded of this because of aceadmiral’s and Queenie’s acefic recommendation posts. So right now I’m in another upswing of “come on, there’s got to be some character you want to write acefic about that you also think you could write faithfully.” I come up blank, consistently. Writing meta for a character is one thing, but portraying them through fanfic?

Well, in the mean time, you can check out Queenie’s recs and the notes of aceadmiral’s post.

Normalizing the Punishment Kiss

a post talking about the normalization of kissing as sexual assault as seen on shows like The Flash and Brooklyn Nine Nine, especially when such actions are used as comedic punchlines with villains.

Prompt taken from this post by lemonyandbeatrice.

This post doesn’t entirely stick to the topic, but still — cn: attitudes about/media depictions of violence, including sexual violence, including details from a specific scene.

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quote on being “the apoc spokesperson”

Another part of that pressure is feeling as though I need to be able to make a concise statement about “the APoC experience” or about the intersection of asexuality and race, which is pretty much impossible.  APoC are a diverse bunch, because the world isn’t divided up into “white people” and “people of color,” each of whom can claim a single, monolithic racial experience, and so my being the only non-white panelist puts me in a supremely uncomfortable position.  How can I be the only one on the panel answering questions about the intersection of asexuality and race when I feel that my experience is so singular and isolated that I can barely speak for myself, let alone anyone else?  How can I be a spokesperson for so many people with so many different experiences than mine, and yet none of the white aces on the panel are expected to speak to the “white ace experience”?

-Queenie, The politics of (in)visibility

“what i never learned”

what i never learned poem

a prospect

Half-formed post idea: you know when people say those things like “don’t feed the trolls” and “don’t burn yourself out arguing w/ people who don’t want to listen”? A decent sentiment, right, but to me that’s not very useful or instructive without getting into the nitty-gritty of Identifying the Features (of someone who is/isn’t engaging in good faith), so I was thinking about writing out some thoughts on strategies for that.

a piece of de-familied solidarity

“See, this is why you don’t talk to relatives about politics.”

“How about just ‘don’t talk to relatives.'”


On Diagnosing a Suffocation

A post about changes (or not) in the ace blogosphere, or, in other words, about a state of “we aren’t talking enough on” intracommunity problem topics.

Mostly, though, it’s just a response to this tumblr post.

What drew my eye in particular was this part added by user warriorsdebt: “In short, in a twist that should surprise absolutely nobody at this point, the exclusionists who will scream until they’re blue about the problems in aspec communities are also the number one factor stopping us from solving them.”


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