Category Archives: Uncategorized

Reading Elementary as a Nonromantic Love Story

CBS Elementary centers on a close friendship between a man and a woman that accomplishes something unique: it stays that way. More than that, it tells the story of the evolution of their relationship from initial animosity to collaboration to exceptional intimacy, to the point of treating each other as the most important person in their lives, all while keeping sex and romance out of it. In light of that relationship and the characterization of the main leads, this analysis presents aro reading of Elementary in order to highlight what it can look like to tell a nonromantic love story.

Crossposted to Pillowfort.

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Quoi Identity Survey: Results

Thank you to everyone who participated in or helped to spread the Quoi Identity Survey. This survey was released on March 6th, 2022 and ran through April 7th. It collected 428 responses in total.

[Crossposted to Pillowfort.]

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Quoi Identity Survey

Now announcing the launch of the Quoi Identity Survey.

The purpose of this survey is to investigate the identities, demographics, and community involvement of those who affiliate with the quoiromantic, quoisexual, or quoigender umbrellas. Quoiromanticism is a concept that originated from a disidentification with romantic orientation, due to the specific intracommunity norms of the asexual community. The same principle has since been applied to gender and sexuality. However, you do not need to identify with a specific term in order to participate in this survey. If you are unsure whether you are part of the intended demographic, you are invited to err on the side of yes.

Click here to take the survey. It will remain open until April 7th.

If you can, you are invited to spread the survey link and help collect more responses. Questions can be asked in the comments below (no account required) or via this contact form.

In addition to WordPress, the survey has been shared on Pillowfort, Twitter, Tumblr (here, here, and here), Arocalypse, AVEN, and Reddit (on r/quoiromantic, r/quoisexual, r/quoigender, r/aromantic, and r/voidpunk).

Edit: the results have now been published.


On the Many Slippery Meanings of “Love”

“Love” is a word that has been used in many, many different ways. We may choose to emphasize some meanings over others, reject some entirely, or bring different ones into focus at different times, but at each step of the way, I think it’s important to maintain an awareness that you are making a selection — a choice — out of many possible choices.

Content note: in order to cover a broad range of examples, this post discusses some heavy topics, including conflict with family, religious commentary, and quotes/links/examples including overt racism and attempted suicide. Mostly these are brief and possible to scroll past, but I want to give people a heads up that this post does touch on topics of that nature.

[Crossposted to Pillowfort. Preview image: Banana Peel by Glenn, licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.]

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Distilling & diluting “masculinity”

Some scattered personal reflections on masculinity as a concept, written for the October 2021 Gender Exploration Carnival.

[Crossposted to Pillowfort. Preview image by Crusty, Public Domain.]

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Attraction-Based Essentialism

What is “attraction-based essentialism,” or even “essentialism,” for that matter? Here’s your handy reference post to explain. I’ve proposed and discussed these ideas before on Pillowfort [DW backup], but after a recent Carnival of Aros post, I realized it would be good to port this idea to WordPress as well.

[Preview image Apothecary Jars by Kato, licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.]

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On saying “before there was a separate aro community”

Sometimes, in situations concerning QPR misinformation, I’ve noticed people will talk about that term as having been created “before there was a separate aro community.” Positioning it that way interests me because, well… how do we draw that line, exactly? I don’t have a concrete answer, but long story short, it’s gotten me thinking about how the aro community talks about itself and its history.

[Crossposted to Pillowfort. Preview image created using Arrow Tips by Don and Janet, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.]

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I want to believe you

You want to have a conversation about the valorization of “love”? Great — I hope you mean it.

[Crossposted to Pillowfort. Preview image by Tristan Chambers, licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.]

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Gender Exploration Carnival – Roundup

This is the roundup for the June 2021 edition of the Gender Exploration Carnival, on the theme of “Sexuality.” View the Call for Submissions for more details.

This month, we received two submissions:

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Gender Exploration Carnival – Call for Submissions: Sexuality

This is the Call for Submissions for the June 2021 iteration of the Gender Exploration Carnival. I’m this month’s host, and the theme for this month is Sexuality.

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