[actual tw: sexual coercion and dark humor]
Category Archives: Asexuality Talk
Okay there are a lot of other things I should be doing right now instead of posting here but I was thinking again today about how my company offers “compassionate leave” as a category of time off from work and how my coworker had to use her PTO hours (a different category) when she took time off to go to her uncle’s funeral, because she didn’t get compassionate leave for that, because her uncle isn’t considered “immediate family.”
The nuclear family is an economic unit.
a steady tide of people in your comment section asking you for advice on how to violate their partner’s boundaries.
Here is a post I saw today about how defining monogamy becomes tricky with aro spectrum and ace spectrum folk in the mix. Go read it. It’s got interesting points and I don’t have much to say on it, besidessss in response to this part added by paradife-loft:
Going back to old, old stuff…. I’ve gotten to thinking about this more, the implications of this idea… a definition of straightness that suggests, if not requires, an explicit hierarchy of straightness. All straights are straight, but some straights are straighter than others.
That’s what comes of a working definition of straightness that depends on absences & on what is *not* experienced (re: patterns of desire, attraction, unwilled feelings, etc.), without any dependence on what *is* experienced (re: patterns of desire, attraction, unwilled feelings, etc.), deliberately shaped to include pathologized experiences off of that list, as long as they meet the given absence criteria.
I just wanna say — it might actually be workable, for all I know, but there’s a couple things I haven’t seen addressed.
My life definitely changed for the better after I gave myself permission to make the whole situation awkward for everyone when other people make me uncomfortable.
Like, you put me in this position, I’m taking you down with me.
It doesn’t fix anything, no, but it sure beats the alternative because then at least then everyone else is feeling awkward WITH me and I’m allowing myself to feel no shame over that.
I can’t get people to care about or even remember my boundaries but!! by God I will try and give them a disincentivizing experience to remember.