checked

doctor: okay, so we got the rest of your results back, and it looks like this is low, this is low, this ratio is way off, this is high, this is 13 when it should be less than 1, this is low, this is low, and this is low… so, basically, you’re like a nice car with no oil, no gas, and four flat tires.

me: Oh.

It’s… yeah, it’s bad news, but it’s a validating answer to what I keep telling myself (why aren’t you more productive, people are counting on you, you’re counting on you, why aren’t you doing more with your day).

But — here’s something interesting — you know what one of the “too high” things was?  Testosterone.  I’m too high in testosterone.

I think that’s hilarious.

Somebody come tell me to get my hormones checked, I dare you.

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4 responses to “checked

  • Vesper

    health checks… fun times.

    i often chant a mantra of ‘self-care~! ♪’ to others, but i’m the ultimate hypocrite for not following through with it myself, so…..

    self-care~! ♪ you won’t be able to help anyone, yourself included, without taking care of yourself first, so….

    also, ‘too high’ testosterone. i want to laugh at that, but i have a friend who’s been dealing with serious fallout from that, so now i feel i can’t. ;(

  • Elizabeth

    Don’t beat yourself up about productivity! Been sucked down in that bog so many times. And beating myself up about it really only made me sink deeper, so… Also, you just took on a REALLY BIG project, so please don’t expect to complete it overnight! It’ll take years to build that up, and it’s okay, don’t try to rush it!

    I mean, that’s what I would say even if you didn’t have a medical reason. But yeah, I totally understand how validating that feels. And now that you know, and can get it treated, things will probably get much better for you.

    And yeah, amused about the testosterone (though less so after seeing Vesper’s comment).

    • Coyote

      Update: it’s specifically “androtenedione” and “dihydrotestosterone” I’m too high in, which are grouped in as testosterone hormones but aren’t the same as testosterone-testosterone. (For the record, my testosterone-testosterone level is “normal,” if a bit on the high side)

  • Sciatrix

    Oh hey, me too! *high testosterone fistbump*

    I’m reading Brain Storm: The Flaws in the Science of Sex Differences at the moment, and it’s giving me a *lot* of neuroendocrinological food for thought on both the science of sex differences and the neuroscience of, ah, non-heterosexuality. I might recommend checking it out if you’re remotely interested in the “check your hormones” bullshit.

    I mean, I’ve been laughing at those for years, because the hormone profiles I *have* seen aces disclose, where they aren’t normal, are usually unusual in a different way from the way the people trying to invalidate asexuality expect. (Which could, of course, be sampling bias; besides which hormones are a signal, and, well, receptor density matters equally as much as hormone load and no one’s checking THAT.) The book is really adding to my food for thought on this field, though, in a way I’m very much appreciating.

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