doctor: okay, so we got the rest of your results back, and it looks like this is low, this is low, this ratio is way off, this is high, this is 13 when it should be less than 1, this is low, this is low, and this is low… so, basically, you’re like a nice car with no oil, no gas, and four flat tires.
It’s… yeah, it’s bad news, but it’s a validating answer to what I keep telling myself (why aren’t you more productive, people are counting on you, you’re counting on you, why aren’t you doing more with your day).
But — here’s something interesting — you know what one of the “too high” things was? Testosterone. I’m too high in testosterone.
I think that’s hilarious.
Somebody come tell me to get my hormones checked, I dare you.