This is unrelated to my previous post but, I’ve been meaning to try and talk about some of the weird ways that abuse has affected my view of and reactions to positive/praise statements about real people.
Prominent example: a couple of times now I’ve seen people say, paraphrased, “when a person says ‘text me when you get home’ that means they care about you” (or “those are the best kind of people” &c.) and all that makes me think of is, that’s something that I used to hear from a person who abused me.
And, to spell this right out, just so we’re clear, I do still think that’s a nice thing to say to someone; it’s generally a sweet gesture; it’s self-evident why hearing that would make someone feel loved and why that would inspire them to make an affectionate generalization post about it.
And that doesn’t change the fact that when you phrase your personal reaction just a little too much like a Statement About What Is Good In The World, you run the risk of describing a group of people that includes the guy who wrecked me, and you run the risk of telling me that he’s a good person who loves me. And I think it’s kind of tragic that people can put me through that kind of draining experience by sheer accident.