AA: Tone

“Husband who wants to understand” wrote in:

I’d seen a few post here, very good in resources.. but your aggressiveness to answer make me think how good is to follow your advises.

but most important, I’m trying to identify whether you are a-strong-minded person or if you feel superior to us allosexuals, most probably fulled by the first here: aggressiveness.

Why is this important to define? you want to know who you are taking advises from.


I’m not sure why or how you got the impression that I’m aggressive, since you didn’t cite specific wording of mine, so I’ll just make some guesses.  I do have a tendency to be blunt and quick to the point, when possible.  I also don’t always expend much emotional labor on reassuring people, which can make my phrasing come off as unkind.  That’s what I’m told, anyway.  I tend to write how I think, and that’s just how I am.  I’m not aiming to attack anyone.  Usually.

If there’s a specific thing I’ve said that you disagree with, please indicate that for me, and we can talk about it.  I prefer that kind of concrete conversation to an abstract conversation about tone.

I don’t know if I’d describe myself as a “strong-minded person,” but no, I don’t “feel superior” to non-aces, either.

Hope that answered your implied questions.


One response to “AA: Tone

  • Klaaraa

    Calls him(?)self “Husband who wants to understand”, sounds like he was going to tell you and request your advice about the things his asexual spouse is not ready to do for/with him, but first wanted to check to make sure you are not going to tear his head off for asking… If he has in fact not written in again, I think it very possible that he has since become Aware of how aggressive his message sounded.

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