“Dealing” with an Ace Partner

Traditionally, the first step in being a dealer is to shuffle the cards.  There are many different shuffling methods, such as the riffle shuffle, the overhand shuffle, and the strip shuffle.  You can find some tutorials on those methods (and more) here and here.

Once the deck has been shuffled, then you’ll be expected to deal the cards.  Pass out a number of hands according to the number of players and a number of cards according to which game you’re playing.  Next, check your partner’s sleeves.  If you find an ace, you’re dealing with an ace partner.  Place the ace back into the deck, recollect all the hands, and shuffle again.

Many people report facing greater difficulty in shuffling a deck that includes a human-sized ace, but rest assured, it can be done.  Popular wisdom suggests you can replace the ace with a card-sized replica to stand in for them, but some dealers feel this amounts to glorified cheating.  In the end, the decision is up to you.  Alternative methods include the pathos shuffle, which involves allowing your ace partner to use merely their hand as a component of the deck and shuffling with it as if it were a card.  Specialized rectangular gloves are available to facilitate the squaring of the deck in this process.  Make sure your ace partner is properly costumed, as well, to blend in with the rest of the cards and to make them more difficult to notice for the other players.

For less sarcastic advice, try What To Do If You Think Your Partner Might Be Asexual, on my ace-allo relationship, this “Allosexual dating Ace” reddit thread, Asexual/Allosexual Relationships, Asexual/Allosexual Relationships and Sex, and Why Date An Asexual? An Interview with C.

3 responses to ““Dealing” with an Ace Partner

  • Klaaraa

    This is all wrong. This would be a lot more funny if you were to acknowledge, in a somewhat sophisticated humorous way, the fact that human aces are generally more than one order of Magnitude larger than playing Cards, and also, with the putting one’s Hand in the pile instead of a Card, won’t work, even with the help of a Special glove…. And since the dimensions of humans are somewhat of a given, for the purpose of this double pun / metaphor Thing to work, we Need to permanently Change the size, including the thickness, of Standard playing Cards…

  • Klaaraa

    Yeah well that hadn’t occured to me, because neither “deal” as in handle or cope with, nor “ace” as in there even being a word other than asexual Person, for asexual Person, has any Connection to Card games, or similar pun-usability in my language. Also, I suck at everything relating to Card games, EXCEPT for the shuffling, which I love, and I Kind of hate the idea of something even figuratively interfering with the fun of shuffling Cards…

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