AA: followup

So just assume that we have a communication problem which is definitely not the case. We have discussed the asexual factor and fact is we are both trying to figure it out as he is not familiar with asexuals therefore don’t know if he is asexual or not and we are trying to figure this out together.

Well that puts things in a different light!

Some suggestions, in that case:

  1. Ask him: what would it feel like to call himself asexual?  Does he feel like the word resonates with him?  Does it suit him better than other sexuality labels?  Does saying the words “I am an asexual person” make him feel scared, relieved, wrong, right, etc.?
  2. Meet up with some aces in person, if possible.  Asexual Groups is a site that has a list of in-person ace gatherings (which, in my experience, are pretty informal hangouts) and there are probably plenty not listed there that you can find other ways, as well.
  3. Look into some ace blogs to find posts written by aces about their experiences as aces.  In my opinion, The Asexual Agenda is a good hub for these things, as there are lots of other ace blogs linked through there, what with the Friday linkspams, comment sections, blogroll, and Carnival of Aces links.
  4. Remember — you don’t have to feel “entirely” asexual to consider yourself part of the asexual umbrella.  He might also want to look into what’s known as “the asexual spectrum,” which includes gray-asexuality, a much broader/vaguer label, although asexuality has historically described a broad range of experiences as well.

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