The folks at Asexual Advice replied!  And they all wrote a ton, but I think I can put a response together tonight.

4 responses to “

  • Siggy

    One downside of splitting the response into three is that the discussion isn’t aggregated. Is this the best place to comment?

    • Coyote

      Mm, fair point. I didn’t want to have a 4000+ word post though. Tradeoffs.

      If you want to talk about their response in general, I suppose this place would be best. If you have something to say about what I’ve said, I’d prefer it be on one of the posts where I gave my replies.

  • Siggy

    My main impression was that they were needlessly defensive. I may not be a typical reader, but to me, “Kiowa, Filbert, and Di are bad advice givers” really wasn’t the point I got out of it. I had never even heard of Filbert and Di, and they were among many I hadn’t heard of. The examples of bad advice were presumably non-representative, and some may include views that they no longer hold.

    Although apparently Kiowa still believes that people want easy answers and it’s their job to provide them. Well, I knew that already, and was already unhappy about that.

    My secondary impression is that there’s a strong undercurrent of “We do such good for the community and it’s such hard work, you should be grateful.” It’s hard for me to be grateful, since I *still* don’t understand the value of answering each and every question. That isn’t standard advice column practice. Apparently my expectations for these advice blogs is even less than the expectations they have for themselves.

    • Coyote

      They seem to have interpreted the post as a targeted callout post (like the kind I’ve seen on Tumblr)… which… it isn’t. I can see how it could be mistaken for one, but it’s really not written like one.

      And yeah, their responses certainly highlighted a lot of ethos/credibility appeals. Since those aren’t relevant to the dispute I have with them, I just kinda… ignored those.

      Anyway, based on your comment here, I think this is an interesting case of how trying to emphasize your own good character in response to criticism can actually backfire. Looks like you wouldn’t have made negative judgements about them as individuals until they handled it this way. Whoops!

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