Sermon of the Uniformity Preacher

Gather ’round, my brethren, for I have a mission for you all.

As we know, it is very psychologically painful to feel like you fit in.  We all hate recognizing that we have anything in common with other people.  That’s why so many people try to lie about being different (when really they’re just normal) and go about spreading extreme, absurd notions about themselves in order to make themselves feel better, as a balm for the pain.

Misrepresenting oneself in a way that makes one feel special is the key to wrongfully accessing many mental and social benefits, dodging the uncomfortable psychological burden that comes from a sense of group belonging and having shared traits in common with the people around you.  And the popularity of this foul self-delusion is on the rise.

This simply cannot stand.  We must do something about the degenerates who have fallen prey to temptation, who seek isolation and make themselves feel special.  Humans may be naturally asocial, solitary creatures repelled by similarity between themselves and others, but that’s no excuse not to work against our baser instincts.

Resistance is imperative.  Our status as ordinary and normal may be difficult to embrace, but it is the only upstanding, virtuous choice.  As keepers of this neglected philosophy, you and I share the responsibility of making the degenerates admit the truth and guiding them back to the path of austere, no-nonsense conformity and homogeneity — by mocking them on the internet and combating the pleasure of exclusion with the righteous power of shame.

This, I declare, is our noble, selfless mission.  Let no one sway you from it.


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