For the record

So far, the one time I’ve encountered someone who was seriously elitist about only experiencing sexual attraction to people they’ve bonded with, that person also:

  • believed that such is the case for the majority of the population (i.e. that being demi is “normal”)
  • believed that there’s essentially a big conspiracy in place to make more people think they experience sexual attraction to strangers than the number who really do
  • referred to the experience of sexual attraction to strangers as “promiscuous” attraction
  • and personally chose not to identify as demisexual on the basis of an ideological objection that labeling demisexuality as such is wrong
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2 responses to “For the record

  • Klaraa

    Okay, but how can someone be elitist about a trait they believe to be normal/common? Doesn’t elitist mean, I am a member of a tiny little group that are better than everyone…?
    [something]-supremacist, I would call him, and as for slut-shaming, well not really, while he ALMOST does describe those promiscous-sexuals as deviant, he quite clearly distinguishes between attraction and behavior, which is not the case for some of those demi-is-fake-arguments I’ve heard. and slut-shaming is shaming promiscous behaviour, not this commentors so-called “promiscous attraction”.

    sorry I am splitting hairs about one word here, please don’t get angry, but I kind of think that is relevant. “I am better than you because I am normal” is not the same as “I am better than you because I am not attracted to / don’t have sex with just anyone” (both are obviously problematic/bad/wrong opinions to have, and also, mostly, to accuse someone of having, but they come from different places and require different approaches to refute)

    • Coyote

      I expect people to recognize that the word “promiscuous” has negative connotations and expresses a value system.

      “Doesn’t elitist mean, I am a member of a tiny little group that are better than everyone…?”

      I’m not sure that it has to be a small group, but according to the definition I just checked, it means a belief that a given group should run the system or be its rulers… which doesn’t apply either, and isn’t how I’ve seen it typically applied. Either way, I think people get the sentiment, although I’ll tweak the wording if you like.

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