Recently, my stats page informs me, someone arrived on this blog by searching “is sexual aversion unhealthy or holy.” It’s not unusual for concerning search terms to pop up, but I want to respond to this one nonetheless.
Sometimes it feels like I can’t say it enough: sex aversion is not unhealthy or wrong. What I mean by that is that sex-averse people do not need to change, do not need to resist or modify their natural feelings, do not need to alter themselves to a certain mold to fit how we’re “supposed” to feel about sex. It is okay to hate sex. The fact that it is anomalous does not mean it needs fixing.
As for whether or not it’s “holy”, I have several diverging thoughts as to what the inquirer may have meant.
The first, and the least likely, is that they may have been a person who does not believe in “holiness” as a quality but is searching for the opinion of those who do. This religion and asexuality post indicates some different stances on the subject, and you should check out this recent Carnival of Aces for more. Asexuality and sex aversion may not be the same thing, but they’re closely connected for many people, so those links may illuminate the answer, supposing this first hypothetical is what the inquirer had in mind.
Secondly, they may have been a person who does believe in holiness — probably a Christian by my estimation, since the word “holy” is very prominent in Christian vocabulary, but they could have just as well been another kind of monotheist, a polytheist, or a spiritual atheist of some sort. Anyway, I recognize that if they’re not a Christian, my input on the subject may have less meaning to them, but I still want to say this:
Sex aversion is “holy” in the sense that we are children of God, and Her creations are holy. We are all made different in some ways, and while you may play those differences up or down according to your preference, it’s okay to cherish and celebrate unique parts of yourself such as this. However, sex aversion is not “holy” in the sense that it’s better than not being sex-averse, and it does not mean that you’ve reached some higher plane of spiritual enlightenment. It doesn’t make you better than other people.
But it doesn’t make you worse, either.
I know this can be a difficult concept for people to grasp — that there can be a difference in kind without a difference in value — but, again, the best answer I can give is that sex aversion is sex aversion, neither a flaw nor a mark of superiority.