Taking Invetory of Personal Affection Prefrences

Sex isn’t the only area of physical affection where people can have varied preferences.  Just ’cause it’s fun to do and good to think about ahead of time, I’ve made a brief list of what I’ve figured out so far.  You may have opposite preferences, or you may like none of these at all, and that’s all fine.  This is just me and my quirks, and if you read this, I hope it encourages you to think about what your own preferences are.

hugs — These are good.  I like hugs.  Greeting hugs, comfort hugs, cuddle hugs, all of ’em.  There are some people I won’t hug, but being a good friend/someone I know well is not one of the prerequisites.

nuzzles — By which I mean rubbing your face on someone’s shoulder/arm/neck or something.  For me, these are more affectionate than hugs (more likely with family and close friends) but still good territory.

hand holding — eh…  Symbolically, it makes a nice metaphor and all, but I’ve found I really don’t like that palm-on-palm feeling and tend not to enjoy this much.  Besides, I have clammy hands anyway.

arm holding — Yes!

arm draped around shoulders/waist/neck — No.

pat on the head/ “noogies” /hair scruffle — NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?  NO.

scalp massage — This is completely different.  Unless I took the time to make my hair look nice that morning and don’t want you to mess it up, this is pretty much always a yes.  I love getting these, and I like giving them, too.

shoulder rubs — If you really love me.

nose bumps/nose rubs — If I really love you.  These are adorable.  Kind of intimate/not something I’d do as casually as hugs, but adorable.

pressing foreheads together — Same as above.

kisses — ???  Not sure about these, especially mouth-on-mouth kisses.  Other types of kisses, like kisses on the neck, kisses on the ears, kisses on the forehead, and kisses on the eyelids, sound more appealing to me, and I might like those more than “traditional” kisses, or at least relatively so — but until I get someone to test that with, the jury’s still out.

What about you?  Are there any forms of nonsexual physical affection that you have an unusual opinion on?

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3 responses to “Taking Invetory of Personal Affection Prefrences

  • lovebakingjourney

    I like touches, as in absent-minded, non-directional and non-purposeful touches. Arms, hands, shoulders, waist, legs, face, I enjoy being touched and touching all those places with everyone as long as it’s mutually not sexual. Personally, those touches shows the absence of barrier between me and the person.

  • mybodymystory

    I tend to pat people on the head or shoulder if I don’t know them well enough to give them a hug but want to show support or comfort. To me, it’s like a lesser-hug.

    I like it when someone I’m really close to, especially a significant other, plays with my hair. Like finger combing my hair. When a parent does it, it’s normally because I need comforting. When a significant other does it, it kind of feels like a snuggle.

  • locoluna77

    I try to avoid all kinds of casual contact, with strangers. With friends I let my guard down more, I like to give “head pets” as we call them, you call them scalp massages, but I’m not as fond as receiving them. I occasionally like to cuddle, but I never initiate, and I’m usually giving comfort. Same goes for hugs. So far as kissing goes, I’m out. This is mostly because I’m aromantic and I look at kissing as a very intimate and romantic gesture, so unless you’re kissing me on the cheek in greeting I probably wouldn’t be in a situation where kissing is occurring. Though I was kissed on the cheek once as a gesture of affection and it felt nice.

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